I suppose it comes as no surprise to anyone who remotely knows me that I would write a blog on the latest Hollywood installment of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series. I realize these movies have developed something of a cult-like following because of teenage infatuation with the forbidden story of vampires and werewolves falling in love with a human, but to me this story has touched a profound, even spiritual chord.
First, I should start by saying I do not read fiction. I had not finished a fiction book since reading Jane Austen at the age of thirteen until I graduated from college. Under the advice of a well-educated friend who said reading fiction is critical for the analytical mind, otherwise the mind would "explode," I picked up Stephanie's first book after being intrigued by the advertisements for the first movie.
What I found in the pages of this book wasn't necessarily life-altering. I didn't start dreaming of a pale, perfect boy suddenly wisking me away to a world of immortality while telling me he would never change a single thing about me. I didn't wish I had the power to read the minds of those around me. (It didn't work out too well for Mel Gibson after all.) These stories resonated with my soul, because I felt often like I could have written them.
I relate not to Bella, the plain, human girl who is torn between love for two seemingly perfect men. I am drawn to the fierceness of the love that Edward and Jacob share for her. Protective, selfless, unrelenting, unchanging. Like a magnetism between their souls. Both these characters have no greater desire than to see Bella safe. Their ambition has nothing to do with their own personal gain, happiness, or even the thought of winning some prize against the other. In a world seemingly consumed with failed marriage, heartbreak, and one night stands; I can't help but wonder if I am the only one who still believes love conquers all?
It seems to me that society is so fixated on having what they want when they want it, people are often dating simply because the person lives near them, or marrying simply because they feel it is time in their life to settle down. Relationships begin and end at warp speed, married to the idea of personal pleasure and happiness. When some obstacle gets in the way of our mindless, simple relationships, we bail for something we know will not cause us pain. I have often asked myself after witnessing friend's divorce only months-a few years into their marriages if they truly loved the person they bound their life to, or the idea of love, the idea of security, the idea of companionship, or if they were terrified at the thought of being alone.
I have dated my share of guys, rushed in when I should have taken a second look, listened to the people in my life telling me what a good idea it was, but I don't know if I can truly say I have been in a healthy, mutually loving relationship. It is difficult to find someone who views the idea of companionship, mutual partnership, grounded in the idea that love is something so rare, beautiful, and sacred that once you've found it you are a fool to ever let it go. Although I don't think I have experienced this fierceness in a romantic relationship (probably because I've dated the wrong guys), I have tasted love's fire. I know my capacity to love.
I have seen it played out in my relationships with friends who I would rather let blaitently hurt me than turn my back on them. I see it in the way my language describes that thing we are all seeking. I am always drawn to the surreal, not necessarily practical characters in books and movies. I choose to believe that love is something that finally convinces the individual to say, "Okay, it really isn't all about me."
Like in the movie, I am not searching the world for a man who would bow at my feet, take a bullet for me, or give me everything I want. In many ways that is the opposite of my longing. Like Edward, to simply be able to love someone so much, knowing full well they might hurt you (because they are only human), or leave you (because humans make stupid decisions), knowing that person is safe is the only thing that dominates you mind. Being able to love them is what you get high off of, not necessarily getting that love in return.
I am reminded of the story of Hosea and Gomer in the Old Testament, and the shadow it gives of Israel and Yahweh, and of Christ and the Church. Regardless of how many times the bride turns her back on her beloved, she is never forgotten. She is never cast out. Mercy resonates through love. I hate to think of how many times I have behaved like Gomer in my relationship to the Almighty, and maybe my realization of my personal failure is what has given me the capacity to believe in something larger than what popular culture and 95% of the population is looking for and failing to find.
The love of God is impossible to understand, fathom, or comprehend. In much the same way the human love I hope and dream of is difficult to understand with eyes viewing only the natural. In Eclipse, Bella tells Edward that she truly does love Jacob, a truth she had been running from. She counters this statement by saying, "But I love you more." Edward doesn't flench, grow mad, or demand she never speak to Jacob again. He simply assures her, "I know," and trusts her love is enough to keep her in his arms. Did it hurt Edward? I'm sure. Was Hosea heartbroken by Gomer's unfaithfulness. Is God not jealous the idols we daily place in front of our devotion to Him? No. But the story here mirrors the love God has for us. He knows our flesh is weak, he knows we will love other things, the only request is that we love Him more. Always, forever, and that that love would outflow into our lives so that eventually our lives become aligned with what we love the most.
That love is not often found in human kind. A love with absolute trust and faith. I have heard so many love stories of couples separated by war and distance, who never wavered in their devotion. Writing beautiful, handwritten letters to their beloved after months, even years of absence. Distance seems to be the nail in the coffin of so many potential friendships and loves in our society. If we cannot have what we want now, we don't want it at all...even if the wait is well worth it in the end.
We know the story, Bella choses Edward. Bella asks to be changed, not so she can live forever, but so she too can protect her beloved. Not to extend her life, but His.
It makes me think there is something worth holding out for.
But for the record. I am team Alice/Jasper.
First, I should start by saying I do not read fiction. I had not finished a fiction book since reading Jane Austen at the age of thirteen until I graduated from college. Under the advice of a well-educated friend who said reading fiction is critical for the analytical mind, otherwise the mind would "explode," I picked up Stephanie's first book after being intrigued by the advertisements for the first movie.
What I found in the pages of this book wasn't necessarily life-altering. I didn't start dreaming of a pale, perfect boy suddenly wisking me away to a world of immortality while telling me he would never change a single thing about me. I didn't wish I had the power to read the minds of those around me. (It didn't work out too well for Mel Gibson after all.) These stories resonated with my soul, because I felt often like I could have written them.
I relate not to Bella, the plain, human girl who is torn between love for two seemingly perfect men. I am drawn to the fierceness of the love that Edward and Jacob share for her. Protective, selfless, unrelenting, unchanging. Like a magnetism between their souls. Both these characters have no greater desire than to see Bella safe. Their ambition has nothing to do with their own personal gain, happiness, or even the thought of winning some prize against the other. In a world seemingly consumed with failed marriage, heartbreak, and one night stands; I can't help but wonder if I am the only one who still believes love conquers all?
It seems to me that society is so fixated on having what they want when they want it, people are often dating simply because the person lives near them, or marrying simply because they feel it is time in their life to settle down. Relationships begin and end at warp speed, married to the idea of personal pleasure and happiness. When some obstacle gets in the way of our mindless, simple relationships, we bail for something we know will not cause us pain. I have often asked myself after witnessing friend's divorce only months-a few years into their marriages if they truly loved the person they bound their life to, or the idea of love, the idea of security, the idea of companionship, or if they were terrified at the thought of being alone.
I have dated my share of guys, rushed in when I should have taken a second look, listened to the people in my life telling me what a good idea it was, but I don't know if I can truly say I have been in a healthy, mutually loving relationship. It is difficult to find someone who views the idea of companionship, mutual partnership, grounded in the idea that love is something so rare, beautiful, and sacred that once you've found it you are a fool to ever let it go. Although I don't think I have experienced this fierceness in a romantic relationship (probably because I've dated the wrong guys), I have tasted love's fire. I know my capacity to love.
I have seen it played out in my relationships with friends who I would rather let blaitently hurt me than turn my back on them. I see it in the way my language describes that thing we are all seeking. I am always drawn to the surreal, not necessarily practical characters in books and movies. I choose to believe that love is something that finally convinces the individual to say, "Okay, it really isn't all about me."
Like in the movie, I am not searching the world for a man who would bow at my feet, take a bullet for me, or give me everything I want. In many ways that is the opposite of my longing. Like Edward, to simply be able to love someone so much, knowing full well they might hurt you (because they are only human), or leave you (because humans make stupid decisions), knowing that person is safe is the only thing that dominates you mind. Being able to love them is what you get high off of, not necessarily getting that love in return.
I am reminded of the story of Hosea and Gomer in the Old Testament, and the shadow it gives of Israel and Yahweh, and of Christ and the Church. Regardless of how many times the bride turns her back on her beloved, she is never forgotten. She is never cast out. Mercy resonates through love. I hate to think of how many times I have behaved like Gomer in my relationship to the Almighty, and maybe my realization of my personal failure is what has given me the capacity to believe in something larger than what popular culture and 95% of the population is looking for and failing to find.
The love of God is impossible to understand, fathom, or comprehend. In much the same way the human love I hope and dream of is difficult to understand with eyes viewing only the natural. In Eclipse, Bella tells Edward that she truly does love Jacob, a truth she had been running from. She counters this statement by saying, "But I love you more." Edward doesn't flench, grow mad, or demand she never speak to Jacob again. He simply assures her, "I know," and trusts her love is enough to keep her in his arms. Did it hurt Edward? I'm sure. Was Hosea heartbroken by Gomer's unfaithfulness. Is God not jealous the idols we daily place in front of our devotion to Him? No. But the story here mirrors the love God has for us. He knows our flesh is weak, he knows we will love other things, the only request is that we love Him more. Always, forever, and that that love would outflow into our lives so that eventually our lives become aligned with what we love the most.
That love is not often found in human kind. A love with absolute trust and faith. I have heard so many love stories of couples separated by war and distance, who never wavered in their devotion. Writing beautiful, handwritten letters to their beloved after months, even years of absence. Distance seems to be the nail in the coffin of so many potential friendships and loves in our society. If we cannot have what we want now, we don't want it at all...even if the wait is well worth it in the end.
We know the story, Bella choses Edward. Bella asks to be changed, not so she can live forever, but so she too can protect her beloved. Not to extend her life, but His.
It makes me think there is something worth holding out for.
But for the record. I am team Alice/Jasper.
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