tony.

If you have known me for any period of time, you are aware of the object of my dearest affection. The thing I would walk over hot coals to hold. The thing which has motivated me to often press beyond adversity to pursue...often at the expense of other's opinions of me. Tony. That beautiful, wonderful thing that would make my life complete...if only.

In case you are completely out of the loop of my social networking, no, I'm not talking about a boy named Anthony, but rather the most coveted prize in all of musical theatre. The Tony Award. The Tony's are my world cup, my super bowl, my Miss America. Once a year my small-town girl TV glitters with all that is Broadway, from Kristin Chenoweth giving a passionate kiss to Sean Hayes, to Matthew Morrison's triple-threat performance. What can I say, I love the Tony's. I justify staying home from church the Sunday night they come on, vegg out in front of my television, and am transported to a different world for three hours. A world where I can break into song in a classroom without reprimand, or fall in love with Matthew Morrison eight times a week. ;) Theatre, music...these simply components make up so much of my life, take so much of my time, bring so much happiness.

So tonight I want to write to you, my dear friends about something very dear to my heart, the idea of creativity. Many times I feel we divorce our creative natures for means of being practical. What's more, we do not seek ways to incorporate that which is birthing inside us into our lives, our character, and ultimately our Christian walk.

When I was a little girl, my greatest dream was to be on stage (still is to a great extent), I craved to come to live when the spotlight hit my cue. I never felt more alive than when I was on a stage, performing. As most of you know medical reasons and fate kept me from ever pursuing my dream of being a Broadway Diva, but circumstance does not determine the death of my gift, my art, my creative passion.

Perhaps the reason I love watching the Tony's so much is to see, if even for only a few hours, a group of people devoted to what they love. Dedicated to a craft, singular in focus. How many times do we give up the thing our heart beats for for mediocrity? In my opinion the thing which makes your heart beat fast, and keeps you awake at night because it is tugging at your heart is the first step any Christian also must take in finding the calling of God on their lives.

I know so many artists who struggle to find their place in the world, a way to express themselves, because they cannot support themselves by their art. So often we turn our back upon the thing we love the most because we know it will not make us a fruitful living. We have heard enough people say we "aren't good enough," that we start to believe them and, instead, settle for a life of mediocrity without ever fully being engaged in whatever work we are doing.

I have often written of how God has a specific calling, an ultimately creative dream of every one of His children. It is our choice whether we accept it or not. I know the dream God had for my life started somewhere and is ending up somewhere I never would have expected. A place far greater than the Tony awards (although if I ever do have children I am 150% certain they will be thanking me in an acceptance speech at the Tonys), a place where only I can go, a place of supreme creativity, flowing with the power of God, my calling.

I am reminded of Ezekiel in the last chapter of his prophecy, looking beyond all the struggles, trials, heartaches, and bitter tears which must be endured by God's elect. He looked beyond satan's fury to the church's final triumph and conquest. In this chapter Ezekiel describes the fullness of the New Jerusalem, saying:

The circumference of the city shall be 18,000 cubits. 

And the name of that city shall be from that time on,

THE LORD IS THERE.

The literal translation of "Jehovah Shammah" is just that, THE LORD IS THERE. Even when Ezekiel knew he would never see the New Jerusalem in his lifetime, the Lord was there. The Lord was there as Ezekiel creatively wrote the circumference of the city to be a perfect, exact, and exceedingly large. Larger than the troubles of Israel or the size of her enemies. He spoke peace to the children of Israel and he speaks peace to us tonight that, even if your dream seems crazy, it is there for a reason. No, it might not come in your lifetime, you may never see the fruit, but you can contribute a very important narrative to this story that began with Adam and will end in the New Jerusalem. What is important is to know this, THE LORD IS THERE. Wherever your destination is, he is already there. Wherever you are tonight, He is there.  

Creativity is not something we lose when we chose the life of a disciple, but rather something to be embraced. Who knew the emotion of the human existence greater than Christ Himself who felt everything a human feels, yet without sin? We are ultimately creative because we were created by the Ultimate Creator. I urge you to release the creativity God has given you, and use it for His glory. Find the place that makes you most alive, and begin to view that place as an altar of worship to the Divine Creator

What is that place? Where do you feel the most alive? Where do you wake up with ideas to accompany your pursuit of your dream? A very wise professor once told me, "Your calling is where your greatest desires and the world's greatest needs intersect." For some it might be to preach, or teach, or be a plumber. But for many it comes with musical scores, films, photographs, writing, painting, art, and the performing arts. The thing most important is that you view it as what it is, a calling. Something Heaven has blessed you to excel in, to express with, and something that gives you a voice and megaphone to proclaim the glory of the Creator. Oliver Wendall Holmes once said, "Every calling is great when it is greatly pursued."

I write this blog as a performing artist who understands that my ability to even sing, to practice my art is a miracle of God. There are always obstacles on the way to fulfilling your calling, but every calling is worth the risk, be it the risk of failure, or the risk of other's opinions. You are never more yourself, never more alive than when you are functioning in the fullness of a God-centered calling. Doing what you love as an act of worship.

I was particularly moved by Viola Davis's acceptance speech for best actress in a play tonight and I will leave you with this:

I do not believe in luck or happenstance. 

I absolutely believe in the presence of God in my life

I was born into a circumstance where I couldn't see it with my eyes,

I couldn't touch it with my hands, so I had to believe it in my heart.

Hidden deep within your heart is something you can't see, can't touch, but yet is so real it was written on your heart the day you were born. It is your place. It is your calling. And it will never reach it's full potential without the presence of God. 

God made you who you are for a reason, with all your quirks and insecurities, He still views you as the apple of His eye. If God can use this eclectic, loud-mouthed, show-tune singing preacher's daughter from Western Oklahoma to speak to nations, I have no doubt he has even greater things in store for you. And no, it may not always look like what you thought it would (a Tony award), but in the end I know you will rest saying, "God's ways truly were higher than my own.

Let us live our lives with creativity, purpose, ever thanking God to be artists, ultimately creative because we were created by the Ultimate Creator. Let us greatly pursue our callings to make our callings great, and who knows, maybe someone reading my blog one day will win a Tony award???

p.s. if it is you, I get to be your plus one.